Category: Let's talk
If you know that your best friend is being abused by his or her spouse, boyfriend, or girlfriend are you obligated to say something? All you young zoners join in on the conversation.
If you really care about your friends, to the extent that you don't stand by and do nothing, then you should first advise them, if they don't take your advise and you think it's because they're too afraid of the consequences, then you should forcibly get them removed from that situation, at all costs.
Remove them? By force even? hmmm, It what point does the ecision of staying or going no longer your friends?
Back a few years ago I worked with a young gal who was desiring to get her life on track. When I met her she was living with her abusive boyfriend who was a few years older than she. She was like 17 and he was like 23 years of age at the time. To her at that time it was either living with him or living on the streets as her mother would not allow this girl to come home…not certain as to what all had happened before I met her. Anyhow she would come into work with horrible bruises on her body as well as penetrating bite marks.. There were marks of imprints of chains on her neck where he had apparently tried to strangle her the evening before… This on more than one occasion. Also could be noticed where he had literally pulled small clumps of hair from her head. Another co-worker and myself confronted her about this situation that was doing her no good and that was when we realized that as bad as it was for her with him she really had no place to go. Tried talking with her mother and her mother refused her back into the home. This gal wanted out, so the co-worker took her into her own small apartment as a place of shelter and until she could get her life back together and find an apartment for her to be on her own. It was near Thanksgiving Holidays and I took her to my mother’s home where we were celebrating the holidays at that time. This gal was absolutely delightful. Mom had some nice sweaters and simply gave them to her. It took some doing getting this gal away from this guy as she was his meal ticket, giving him her entire paycheck most weeks so a few of the fellows from work would escort her to the co-workers apartment for weeks on end and at one point went through the courts to get her credit files in order before she reached legal age as on a credit card of hers he had tried to ruin her credit. She also was in need of some dental work and I would take her for her appointments as she had not a car. It took six months to get her fully away from him. It had to be her decision that she really wanted to leave. Given that there was literally a small army of us willing to help her she grabbed on for dear life. After a year or so she moved to Los Angelus, Calif. And for a few years I would get a Christmas Greeting from her. She got a job as a bar tender while she put herself through college.
You can't really forceably remove someone from a situation like that. You can advise them, give them some other options and alternatives, and offer your help if you can. But it's ultimately the other person's decision.
Seconded, Brook. There's only so much you can do practically, and also, there's a point where it's not actually your responsibility, or your business if people make a choice that you think is wrong. In answer to the original post, I don't think we're obligated to interfere, but I don't think many people would consider it an obligation, when it's their friends at stake.
Of course you are duty bound to help them in any way possible,and that involves social services and the police.